This is Climax! Sparta!

So you can pork your girl- or boyfriend for forty minutes without soiling the bedsheets.

Whoo-hoo. Well done. You’re a real powerhouse of maleness. Your rod is an inspiration to us all.

I mean, who needs more than five minutes of cuddling, petting, foreplay, if you can just ram your meat into available orifices and go jackrabbit on your partner? She’ll certainly enjoy the friction and your attention to her uterus, and he’ll naturally want his rectum distended some more, no?

I bow my head to this overload of awesome.

We all know the clit is overrated, sure. What’s it there for, anyway? You have a hole to drill! And your partner’s perky penis, well, why play with that one? You have your own, after all, and you admire his butt cheeks.

Because you’re Mr. Penetration, Lord of the Staff of Pleasure.

Ya. Mostly your pleasure, but hey, your partner needs a good pounding, no? It’s not as if less invasive things would satisfy them, is it? You saw it on late night TV and on the interwobble, so it must be true!

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