Supertalent: Divide and conquer.

Make sure there’s something on the telly the people that elect you into office will laugh about. Even better, present a mix of things people will laugh at, and – ideally – feel the urge to grace the bog with the contents of their stomaches.

It’s always nice to look down on white trash, ennit? Bad teeth help.

Then, for full effect, air it on private TV so nobody can say you officially tried to reduce the average IQ of your citizens by using tax money. A holier-than-thou perspective helps, too.

Sounds like a great conspiracy theory, no? Frankly, I don’t know whether I’d prefer the conspiracy, or the fact that it’s a show that’s only aired because, well, shitloads of people enjoy watching other people flirting with committal (or admission) to the odd mental asylum or two.

The free market is a bitch, it sells to the highest bidder. But as long as there’s enough people who enjoy watching faked orgasms by bass players, just after a Chinese designer was shat on for mispronouncing her age, and some gal marketing herself as an orphan due to the gun-violence death of her father, well – it’s a market controlled by the customer.

Count me in. Damn.

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