Bitching about your neighbours hardly ever is a wise move. Being passive-aggressive about said bitching doesn’t make things better just because you appear to be “polite”. It makes things worse as you’re spewing memes like mad, infecting others and creating problems that simply aren’t there. This is especially true in questions of nationality.

Calling Germans living in Switzerland Schiis-Schwoobe (Shithead Swabians) and blaming then for hogging job opportunities is stupid enough to begin with. Without them shitheads, half our health care would break down. And hey, at least some of them Schwoobe are flexible enough to relocate 1 000 miles to start with a new company. Whereas you guys moan if it takes you an hour to get to work, but refuse to move 50 km closer. Well done!

Cheering when the German team loses a match – what for? Did Schweini bugger your vuvuzela or something?

My personal gripe in this nationalist pseudo-discussion, though: First complaining about how Germans arrogantly dismiss the Swiss language just to get angry at immigrants at least trying to learn local dialects. This is not a sign of a sane society. And the media cater for such an audience, too, kindling the fires underneath an issue that mostly exists in your head.

A wise man once said: “The Swiss are polite. They are not friendly.” I am inclined to agree.

We all live on the same ball of dirt called Earth. And don’t forget good ole Newton: Actio et reactio doesn’t only apply in physics, but in human relations, too. So don’t complain if the bitchee bitches at the bitcher, i.e. you.